I don't use Twitter, and I don't update my Facebook status on the road. I won't be doing either until I get a cellphone that doesn't resemble two decks of cards chiseled together at one end.
The world's loss, I'm sure. Even so, it's difficult not to tweet in my head, and our Monday night trip from Defiance, Ohio, to Brooklyn, New York, was filled with plenty of observations -- in 140 characters or less, of course:
1. Next time in Defiance- Christmas. Next time in Ohio- September.
2. Sign between Toledo and Detroit: "Prison Area: Do Not Pick Up Hitchhikers." Inspires a lot of confidence in the judicial system.
3. Billboard a few miles away: "Need credit? Credit stink? poopycredit.com" More like shitty sign.
4. I forgot how many country stations NW Ohio has. I miss CD101.
5. Gas is a nickel cheaper if you pay by cash rather than credit card. Is this common everywhere now?
6. Why do I insist on getting to the airport so early?
7. Last time I waited for the tram at DTW I threw up on the platform and then on the whole flight to NY. Good times.
8. Two gate changes and an hour delay. Huge surprise.
9. Love the window seat except when it's cloudy and all the city views are on the other side. Check, and check.
10. No thanks to the peanuts, but I'll take 10 packs of Biscoff cookies, please.
11. Landing at LGA right next to the water freaks me out.
12. The taxi line is so long that I watched a boy and girl meet, flirt and exchange numbers before piling into separate cabs. Awww.
13. If Paul started running right now, he would beat me home if I took public transit. Then again, he would prob be killed, so I would beat him.
14. Did I just hear the cabbie call another driver a bitch?
15. Taco Bell, brownies, orange juice and a bumpy BQE don't mix.
16. Nowhere I'd rather be than a 12:30 a.m. traffic jam, meter ticking.
17. Billboard in Brooklyn mentions "proctology" with one of the O's replaced by an image of an ass. The borough at its finest.
18. Good kitties-- no puke in the hallway like there usually is when we return after a long weekend away.
19. I don't remember that huge hole in the kitchen ceiling when we left Friday.
20. Paul killed some type of large insect he's never seen before. Probably came from the large hole that is IN THE CEILING.
21. Unpacked. Do I really have to be at work in 8 hours?