Sunday, August 2, 2009

To the Man Who Just Moved In

Dear Man Who Moved Into the Apartment Opposite the Kitchen at Work,

Congrats on your new place! And sorry for accidentally making eye contact with you when I was in the hallway at work. I'm pretty sure there's an unspoken rule against that. Anyway, it probably won't happen again. I noticed your blinds were installed by the end of the day.

I hope you're used to keeping the blinds shut in your bedroom. Otherwise your bed's in a really bad spot.

See, your windows face our office's busiest corridor-- the one that links the entrance to the kitchen to about half of the office. I walk down the hallway at least eight times a day, and I peek into your new place each and every time.

In the last few weeks my co-workers and I have watched as real estate agents gave tours of your apartment. And we all noticed when the floors got waxed; they're as shiny as a bald man's head. Looks like a nice place. Two, maybe three bedrooms? Hope you got a deal.

We'll probably be seeing more of each other, although hopefully not too much. Remember about those blinds.

Your neighbor,

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