Dear Man Who Moved Into the Apartment Opposite the Kitchen at Work,
Congrats on your new place! And sorry for accidentally making eye contact with you when I was in the hallway at work. I'm pretty sure there's an unspoken rule against that. Anyway, it probably won't happen again. I noticed your blinds were installed by the end of the day.
I hope you're used to keeping the blinds shut in your bedroom. Otherwise your bed's in a really bad spot.
See, your windows face our office's busiest corridor-- the one that links the entrance to the kitchen to about half of the office. I walk down the hallway at least eight times a day, and I peek into your new place each and every time.
In the last few weeks my co-workers and I have watched as real estate agents gave tours of your apartment. And we all noticed when the floors got waxed; they're as shiny as a bald man's head. Looks like a nice place. Two, maybe three bedrooms? Hope you got a deal.
We'll probably be seeing more of each other, although hopefully not too much. Remember about those blinds.