Goodbye, Grandma

My grandma, my dad’s mom, died last week. By all accounts she lived a good and active life — she just turned 90 and yet played dominoes like a champ when we visited her a few days before Christmas.

But I didn’t lose only a grandmother. She and grandpa, who died almost three years ago, were our closest neighbors growing up. I could see their house from my bedroom window, just across the field a short walk away. (In fact, we would walk across the field to visit when crops weren’t planted.) We visited at least once a week, usually to play cards. I can’t even count the number of card games they taught us, mostly brought back from their winter stays in Arizona.

We’d often take long walks along our rural road and regularly go on vacation with them. (Grandma is the one who taught me the license plate game — listing each state on a piece of paper and checking them off as we found them on the highway or in parking lots throughout vacation.) And as my sister and I grew up, we could count on Grandma knowing when we would leave and arrive back home — she had a perfect view of our driveway from the window above her kitchen sink!

I left Defiance for college more than 20 years ago, but still visited them on my visits back. I’ll always be glad that Grandma got to play dominoes with Edith at Christmastime and taught us a new dice game. I can’t hardly wait to teach both kids how to play 7-Up! My kids won’t have too many memories of my grandparents, but their legacy will continue. 

Family Photos

From my family to yours, we hope you had a wonderful 2019 and that 2020 has great things in store!

(Thanks to my wonderful sister-in-law, Becky, for this year's family photos!)

Family Photos

My talented sister-in-law took our family photos again in the last few months of 2017, but I barely "release" them until after the holidays when the few Christmas cards I send out our sent and received! Here are a few of my favorites:

I'll Remember

Mostly I'll remember Grandpa's laugh. He had a sense of humor, but the ho-ho-ho often made an appearance when we were playing cards and he would inevitably catch some points the rest of us forgot to count up.

I'll remember driving through the tiny town of Harlan, and him telling us that the Harlan Globetrotters originated there. I may even have believed him when I was very young.

I'll remember searching the farmland between my grandparents' house and the one I grew up in, collecting the golf balls he would swing into the field.

I'll remember the Saturday nights we spent at their house, learning all the new card games that they brought back from their winters in Arizona. Nobody could play like Grandpa. He taught me cribbage, and I'm not sure I've met anyone outside of our family who knows the rules.

I'll remember riding in Grandma and Grandpa's car, and him letting me use the CB radio to speak to my own Dad elsewhere on the highway.
I'll remember a family trip -- to Michigan, I think -- when a seagull swooped down and grabbed the bologna sandwich right out of his hand. I would bet anything that the laugh made an appearance then.

I'll remember how I never heard him lose patience or say a harsh word, even though I probably deserved it.

We spent the day at the hospice center in my hometown of Defiance about a week before he died last Tuesday. We stayed six or seven hours in the room with him, and his eyes flickered open once or twice. But the whole time we were there, I didn't know what to say to him. I shared a few parting words at the end, but left wishing I would have said more. Like this.

Photo Friday: Family Portraits

Let's start the year with two family portraits from the last few months -- the first from my sister-in-law, the second from a Disney photographer.

New Year, Same Good Times

A new year, and everything is the same and everything is different.

Our Christmas holiday was spent the same old way, and that's definitely not a complaint. We saw dozens of relatives and spent the day with my Hilliard in-laws and Defiance family, followed by a long weekend staying with my parents.

Our New Year's holiday was spent much differently than normal: with a party at our house. Around 25 adults and kids gathered for food, drink and fun, and a few of us even made it til the ball dropped. Those few included both Edith and Atticus, who "napped" for an hour at his normal bedtime but woke up, surely thanks to the noise and excitement. Who can blame him? So we rang in the new year as a family of four.

Of course, last year brought a new kid. It seems that he and his older sister are constantly changing. Every day brings a new skill for one or both. Yet the days, one after another, don't seem that different. Storytimes, playgroups, activities galore - the routine stays the same.

My life is pretty happy right now -- a wonderful husband, two kids I adore (and who seem to think I'm OK too), the opportunity to spend my days with them while continuing my freelance writing on the side. Last year was pretty great, and it's looking like 2016 will be more of the same. This is where I knock on wood, right?

Photo Friday: Merry Christmas from My Family to Yours

Thanks to my talented sister-in-law for taking these family photos in October! Merry Christmas!

Photo Friday: O-H-I-O

Some people are ready for football season. Others, not so much.

Aug. 29, 2015

Photo Friday: Silly Cousins

We visited my family earlier this month to see my new nephew, born on July 1, and his big brother, who is just three months younger than Edith. Of course, that called for photos.

All photos from July 11, 2015

A Weekend with Family

Atticus wasn't the youngest in the family for long. The day before he turned three months old, his newest cousin was born. We visited him for the first time this past weekend.

It was a weekend of firsts. Our first time meeting Hayden. Atticus's first visit to Defiance, where I grew up. And Atticus's first road trip -- he'd never been in a car for more than about a half hour. But he took the 2.5 hour trip like a trooper, pretty much sleeping the whole way there and back.

It was a pleasant weekend, filled with family and food. Both sets of my grandparents came for lunch at my parents' house, along with my sister and her growing family. I loved holding my newest nephew, and Edith had a blast playing with another cousin, just three months younger than herself.

Although I still miss New York (hard to believe we've been in Ohio two years this month!), it's weekends like these that make me glad I'm back. I'm happy our kids are getting to know their family in ways that would have been much more difficult from 500 miles away.

2014 Family Photos

I am lucky to have a talented amateur photographer as a sister-in-law. That means we get great family photos even when we procrastinate and don't get around to getting them done until nearly Thanksgiving.

So thanks to Becky for these wonderful pics of us and of Edith!

The rocking chair is a family tradition -
my sister and I each had our photo taken
in it when we were 18 months old.

An Eventful Two Weeks

The last two weeks have been extremely busy, for better or (mostly) worse).

Two weeks ago today, Edith and I flew home in advance of my mom's surgery. Mom had a kidney removed, but it didn't go as planned. Long story short, there were complications in what was supposed to be a simple procedure requiring two nights in the hospital. Instead, Mom was in the ICU for several days and spent five nights in the hospital. Happily, she's now doing very well.

On that same day I went home, Paul found out that he got a position in Ohio. Same company, same job, only in Columbus. We'll be moving there next month.

After a week of visiting with my family, Paul drove from New York to Defiance to join Edith and me. We spent a couple of days together in northwest Ohio and then drove to Columbus to look at houses. We'll likely be moving into an apartment when we first return.

Between the surgery and the impending move, it's been a sad and stressful two weeks. I'll be doing my best to keep up this blog three times a week, but don't be surprised if you see a few skipped days, as you did on Monday. On the other hand, I have a lot to write about.

My Mother, and Being a Mother

Mom with Edith when she was 1 month old

Edith gave me a pretty good gift for Mother's Day: A three-hour nap in her stroller while Paul and I ate a nice lunch at one of my favorite neighborhood burger joints, followed by a piece of Brooklyn Blackout Cake at Little Cupcake.

But the best gift a new mother could get, I got almost 31 years ago: A great mother myself. Of course I never realized for all of those years that Mom was teaching me how to be a mom. Maybe she didn't realize it herself.

Long before Paul and I decided to have a kid, I wasn't sure how I would be as a mother. I'm impatient and exacting; I just want things my way. I'm still not sure how I'll be. After all, the proof is in the pudding, and Miss Pudding isn't even six months old yet.

But I'm trying my best, and I hope Edith feels even half as secure as I did as a kid that her mom always has her best interests at heart, even if we don't always see eye to eye.

So as my first Mother's Day has come to a close and I contemplate the type of mother I want to be, I want to thank my own mother for being the perfect example. I have big shoes to fill. I love you, Mom.

Ohio Comes to NY for the Holidays

We didn't go to Ohio for the holidays, but Ohio came to us.

I'm pretty sure we wouldn't have had so many relatives visiting if they wouldn't have had the newest family member to greet. But all the same, it's wonderful to be surrounded by our nearest and dearest in New York if we can't be with them at home.

Paul's mom was the first to visit, when Edith was just two weeks old. She stayed with us for five nights, including over Paul's birthday. (It was the first time he's spent his birthday with any family besides me since we moved here.)

I know lots of people have problems with their in-laws; luckily I'm not one of them! It was great having Sherry here, and not only because she happily changed diapers and watched Edith while Paul and I had a lunch date alone!

Paul with his mom and Edith

Paul's sister, her husband, and their 12- and 7-year-old sons came the following weekend. They stayed in Manhattan but visited us on both Saturday and Sunday for several hours. Edith again got lots of cuddle time!

Edith with Paul's sister and our 12-year-old nephew

My own parents are scheduled to arrive early this evening -- more about that next week!

New York City Through My Cousin's Eyes

My cousin Emily is a high school freshman and a talented photographer. When she and her family visited us in June, I was very eager to see her photos -- and to see New York from an outsider's perspective, how I must have seen the city three years ago.

I wasn't disappointed, as you can see for yourself. Thanks, Emily!

Little Italy

Our apartment, from below

Bay Ridge

On the subway. Foreground: Paul. Reflection in window: Aunt Annette, me, Emily

Family and Ferrara and a Visit to Little Italy

What would a visit to Little Italy be without a big scoop (or three) of gelato?

At least, that's what my cousin thought last weekend, and I have to say that I agree.

My Aunt Annette, Uncle Dave and two cousins from Indiana visited New York last weekend, and I was excited to play tour guide. Dave had been to New York before -- I believe as a teenager -- but the city was new to Annette, David (a student at Ball State) and Emily (an entering high school freshman). They arrived in Bay Ridge at 10 a.m. Saturday morning on the dot, and it wasn't long before we checked the first item off their to-do list: a visit to Little Italy.

I was happy not only to see my family, but also to take in some typical New York experiences that I hadn't done since we first moved here, or even since our honeymoon in New York almost seven years ago. Their visit gave me an excuse to do something I'm usually leery of nowadays -- be a tourist. It was an eye-opening -- and fun -- experience.

But back to Little Italy. The neighborhood is surrounded by Chinatown, so of course we couldn't see one without the other. The weather was sweltering, which made the fish markets smellier and the crowds sweatier. The black-market purse and watch dealers were out in full-force. We managed to make our way down the street without succumbing to the lures of a "Rolox" (unlike one of Paul's friends a few months back).


Little Italy is what they really wanted to see anyway, and Emily preferred not to leave with gelato -- and who are we to let her eat alone?! Of course, none of us could resist the air conditioned allure of Ferrara, perhaps the neighborhood's most well-known bakery and cafe (and just one of the places where I've searched for the city's best cannoli). Founded in 1892, it also bills itself as America's first espresso bar.


From about 15 or so flavors of gelati and sorbet, Paul and I settled for a scoop each of strawberry and raspberry gelato and blackberry sorbet. Paul didn't even put up a fuss when I nixed his suggestion of vanilla gelato. As if I'd waste one of my scoops on something so plain. Ha!

It was a good start to a pleasantly tiring weekend. More to come!

A Guilty Congratulations

The distance from home seems longer at some times than at others.

Five hundred miles really isn't that far. It's about two hours by plane, and I swear most of that is spent at the gates. By car it's a 10 to 12 hour drive, depending on traffic and our destination.

Either way, the distance is just far enough to be inconvenient. Now a trip home takes planning, and a simple weekend jaunt to visit my parents is out of the question.

But it doesn't prevent me from feeling guilty about all of the times I feel I should be there. This past weekend is a prime example. Not only was it Mother's Day, but my sister graduated with a master's degree in education. A congratulations over the phone (and, ahem, by blog) isn't quite the same as being there for the family celebration, but it'll have to do.

So congratulations, Katie. Finally, you can stick to assigning homework instead of working on it yourself!

My Sister, Now in Paulding County

I told a coworker that my sister and her husband recently built a house. Her response: "From scratch?" That sort of thing just isn't done around here.

After about a year of work, Katie and Jay just moved in a month ago. Last weekend was the first time I had seen the finished product.

They have 10 acres in rural Paulding (is that redundant?) with an old house and a few out-buildings on the lot. They built a new barn and converted part of it into a living area until they decide to renovate the house.

Can two sisters be more different? But where she sees wide open spaces, I just see land that needs mowed and farmed. And where I hear the exciting buzz of a city, she just hears plain old noise. To each her own.

The house.

The land.

The slobbery dog.

April odds and ends

#1: Paul signed up for his first half-marathon! He'll be running a bit more than 13 miles throughout Brooklyn this Saturday. No worries- he's been known to run a treadmill 15 miles at the gym. (How boring does that have to be? I don't care what's in your iPod or what's on TV.) Of course, he wants to run a real marathon, but the chances of him getting in to the NYC one are pretty slim. To have anything like a near-guaranteed spot, you have to run something like 14 half-marathons sponsored by a specific organization, I believe. So he may run the marathon in Columbus or one of the other cities here in the northeast.

#2: When I was in Ohio last weekend, I did get to spend a very short amount of time with Paul's family. I was there about 16 hours, and about half of that I was sleeping! In any case, my sister-in-law, Becky, did manage to sneak in a few pictures. She has them posted on her blog.

#3: We're now trying to rent our house. It was listed just this week, and we've already had three people interested in taking a look. Paul and I probably are more excited than we should be. That's already three times as many people who have looked at our house to buy it!