The Drive vs. The Flight

Paul and I drove from Columbus to Brooklyn in record time last Sunday: 9 hours flat. The secret? One bathroom break and no stops for food. Our families had loaded us up with so many snacks that we ate on the road.

We've actually only made the drive from Ohio to New York four times now, that I can remember-- the day we actually moved here and the following three Christmases. Unfortunately, Pennsylvania hasn't gotten any shorter.

Luckily, I only had to make the trip one way this year. Paul had extra vacation days and drove to Ohio almost a week before I met him there. I flew to Columbus on Christmas Eve -- a vast improvement over last year's Greyhound bus trip.

When I fly from New York, I always pray that I'm on the side that gets the amazing Manhattan views. This year, I got my Christmas wish. The views are fantastic at any time, but even more so at night. And unlike my first few flights to and from the city airports, now I actually know what I'm looking at.

Traffic backed up in New Jersey off the George Washington Bridge. The Empire State Building decked out in red and green lights. A glimpse of the neon lights in Times Square. The Verrazano-Narrows Bridge in my own neighborhood, several miles south.

It doesn't get old. At least, not yet.

As the plane was taxiing toward the runway, it occurred to me that this was the first time I'd spent any part of Christmas in New York, even if it was only the eve. I was eager to see Paul and the rest of my family that night, but the remembrance pulled me up short. Santa must think I'm OK, because for that moment at least, I felt pretty lucky.

The Joys of Flying with the Japanese

I've never flown on a holiday before.

If all goes well, I'll be in Columbus tonight in time for a late supper. If all goes badly, I'll be one of those stranded passengers bad-mouthing the airlines on the 11 o'clock news.

I'm nervous about the lines and delays, but I'm excited, too. I like to fly. And I especially like to fly Delta, which passes out delicious Biscoff cookies instead of puny bags of peanuts. Oh, and since it's just a puddle-jumper that flies from New York to Columbus, I get a window/aisle seat. The best.

I was not so lucky flying to and from Japan. On the way there, I had the middle seat in the middle section of the row, and Paul was three seats over and across the aisle. I'd never spent 14 hours being able to see but not speak to him. On the way back, we got to sit next to each other, but he was the one blessed with the aisle seat.

We flew a Japanese airline, ANA, which was a good choice. Vacation seemed to start as soon as we boarded the plane since the announcements were first in Japanese and then in English. And the flight attendants bowed, just as they did in Japan itself.

The food wasn't half bad (noodles, curry rice, scallops), and the green tea was plentiful. We got warm towels to wipe our hands before every meal. I'd like to see United match that.

I got called "madam" twice by a flight attendant on the way home.

Best of all, the immigration line when we got back to the States was extremely short since American citizens had a special line, and our full flight was almost all Japanese.

But ANA didn't have Biscoff cookies.

Merry Christmas!

The Easiest $400 I Ever Made

The 4 o'clock hour is one I don't often see. It's too late to stay up, too early to awake.

Unfortunately, I had little choice on Tuesday morning.

OK, I could have flown from Columbus to New York anytime on Monday, but I wanted to maximize the family-and-friend time on my all-too-rare visit to Ohio. So I was up at 4:10 a.m. to make a 6 a.m. flight, with a plan to go straight from LaGuardia to work.

The plan was slightly derailed, however, when my flight was overbooked and Delta asked two or three passengers to take the next flight at 9:40 a.m.

With a $400 voucher.

Sign me up.

The wait was long, but I miraculously found a bench near my gate without armrests. I scrunched up in the fetal position and covered my eyes and torso with Paul's suit jacket, which I was transporting back to Brooklyn. I was obviously exhausted, so it was a nice surprise when I finally boarded the plane and learned I'd been bumped up to first class.

Of course, that doesn't mean much on a plane with fewer than a hundred passengers. But I did get a candy bar with my normal complimentary cookies, and my orange juice came in a real glass. I also got a blanket and pillow, a wide and comfy seat, and enough room to stretch my legs out straight. I was almost sad when the hour flight ended.

Alas, my window seat was revoked, but I'll gladly give up a view for $400. Even if I do feel like a zombie the rest of the day.

Defiance to New York in 21 Unpublished Tweets

I don't use Twitter, and I don't update my Facebook status on the road. I won't be doing either until I get a cellphone that doesn't resemble two decks of cards chiseled together at one end.

The world's loss, I'm sure. Even so, it's difficult not to tweet in my head, and our Monday night trip from Defiance, Ohio, to Brooklyn, New York, was filled with plenty of observations -- in 140 characters or less, of course:

1. Next time in Defiance- Christmas. Next time in Ohio- September.

2. Sign between Toledo and Detroit: "Prison Area: Do Not Pick Up Hitchhikers." Inspires a lot of confidence in the judicial system.

3. Billboard a few miles away: "Need credit? Credit stink? poopycredit.com" More like shitty sign.

4. I forgot how many country stations NW Ohio has. I miss CD101.

5. Gas is a nickel cheaper if you pay by cash rather than credit card. Is this common everywhere now?

6. Why do I insist on getting to the airport so early?

7. Last time I waited for the tram at DTW I threw up on the platform and then on the whole flight to NY. Good times.

8. Two gate changes and an hour delay. Huge surprise.

9. Love the window seat except when it's cloudy and all the city views are on the other side. Check, and check.

10. No thanks to the peanuts, but I'll take 10 packs of Biscoff cookies, please.

11. Landing at LGA right next to the water freaks me out.

12. The taxi line is so long that I watched a boy and girl meet, flirt and exchange numbers before piling into separate cabs. Awww.

13. If Paul started running right now, he would beat me home if I took public transit. Then again, he would prob be killed, so I would beat him.

14. Did I just hear the cabbie call another driver a bitch?

15. Taco Bell, brownies, orange juice and a bumpy BQE don't mix.

16. Nowhere I'd rather be than a 12:30 a.m. traffic jam, meter ticking.

17. Billboard in Brooklyn mentions "proctology" with one of the O's replaced by an image of an ass. The borough at its finest.

18. Good kitties-- no puke in the hallway like there usually is when we return after a long weekend away.

19. I don't remember that huge hole in the kitchen ceiling when we left Friday.

20. Paul killed some type of large insect he's never seen before. Probably came from the large hole that is IN THE CEILING.

21. Unpacked. Do I really have to be at work in 8 hours?

Sour ending to a lovely weekend

If love is carrying someone's barf bag to the nearest airport trash receptacle, then Paul must adore me.

I had a lovely long visit home this past weekend, except for the final four hours. I was fine at Joe's wedding. Perfect at Katie's bridal shower. It wasn't until I was somewhere in the air between Columbus and Detroit that I started to feel queasy.

Without going into too many details, I was sick the entire plane ride from Detroit to New York. Luckily, Paul and I had the entire last row of the plane to ourselves. The flight attendant told us at the end of the trip that the pilot even delayed take-off for a bit to consult with air traffic control about whether I should get off the plane. Great.

Needless to say, I stayed home from work the next day. I was fine again and eating normally by the evening. More about the pleasant aspects of my trip (along with pictures!) later.